Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
