Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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