You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
