there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
