is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
