Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
