Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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