i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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