WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
