How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
