UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
