Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize