She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize