Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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