The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
