I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
