Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
