Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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