Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize