i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
