my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
