I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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