dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
