when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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