4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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