Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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