My first STD was from a foam party
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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