just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
