Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you told grandpa to call you daddy
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
