I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Found your dick twin last night
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
