I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
