last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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