i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
MIDGETS
????
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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