mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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