The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
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You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
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I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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