Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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