I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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