i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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