My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
