these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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