Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
