That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I need a beard to bite.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
