Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
