theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
