you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
