you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
