Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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