Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
