you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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