i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
