I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
