i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
