Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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