We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
She said her name was "party"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
