what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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