Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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