you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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