The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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