You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
