that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
