We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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