Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
