ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Houston, we have a squirter
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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