I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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