come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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