Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
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